adolescent adventure

(Listening to: Howling Bells)

When you are younger, you hear about all the stories of your older cousins, older brothers and sisters, friend's siblings and of course, those teen icons on television progammes. It all seems so cool, fights with your boyfriend, drunk nights with your friends, intoxicated altercations when you sneak out. You hope of course, that this never happens to you, but perhaps it would be way cool if it did.

And then it happens, before you know it, except unlike on television, or in those stories you've heard which end in a bellowing laugh at the end, there is no humor. The fights with your boyfriend aren't about where he wants to go with you, the drunk nights with your friends and events within them are not remembered and when something bad happens when all these things combine with too much alcohol, and a lack of thinking, you're well and truely fucked.

No-one ever considers the reality of life, especially not me. I know it sounds silly, saying that. But when you think about it, adolescent thinking provides a lot of moving space.

'Oh, its only an ambulance...'
'You know what, you're fucking annoying!'
'Yeah, im fine get off me.'
'Sure i'll skull baileys even though i cant walk'
'police? lets scream and run with goon bags'

Suddenly, you find yourself craving those stereotypical moments you thought you would face adolescence with. You want you and your boyfriend's fights to only be about him being late, not where you guys are going, and if you have a future. Future talks are scary, not like we've been told. You want to have a fight with your bestfriend over sharing, not why she got so drunk she can't stand and lost her bra.

Adolescence isn't safe anymore. It only ever was in your dreams.