Friday, May 14

She's Back!

After a long six months or so since my last post, I'm very pleased to announce that I am back on Blogger. I'm alive (barely), drowning in studying and almost loving life.

Posts soon lovers!

Tuesday, November 10

How do we reverse the chemistry?

I wish I could rip out a page of my memory
Cuz I put too much energy in him and me
Can’t wait til I get through this phase
Cuz it’s killing me too bad
We can’t re-write our own history
Such a mystery when he’s here with me
It’s hard to believe i’m still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain’t how it’s supposed to be

I’m having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy
How do we reverse the chemistry?
I don’t want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy

Looking back...

People who have changed me:


Its amazing how people can change who you are. I know it sounds conventional, and normal, and maybe it is, but think about how strong you are as a person. Everything you believe in not only is important, but its real. It exists. And don't you think anything that's real, and solid, and there, should be impossible to change?

Apparently not. Because the above people have all changed me as a person, and I thought i knew who i was when i met them. That's the thing, that i always ask..If you change, have you always been that person, and just hiding, or have these people literally created another chapter of you?

Recently, my friendship with one of my dearest friends has become particularly strong. After a year of loving, lusting, hating, crying, questioning, yelling, silent-treatmenting, and ignoring, we are back to where we were this time last year..

Sometimes i wonder if you ever get over your first love.. I know everyone says you don't, and I know a lot of people haven't, but is that because of that saying "You never get over your first love" or is it real? I suppose it's like everything really, Its different for every person.

I dont really think I'll ever get over mine..But i'm at the point in myself now where i'm okay with that. The connection I have with my first is so electric, so soft, so beautiful and so real that even if it is shit 90% of the time, its still amazing.

So, to J, I will always love you, and I believe a part of you will always love me, and that's okay.

Another person who has changed me is P, she is my original artist. When i first met her, I was into her straight away. Into her quirkiness, her weirdness, her strange behaviour and odd loves (greenday + vogues). I gave her her first puff of a ciggarette, she gave me my first pub gig, we both pretended to like cigarettes but we didnt like them at all. P has changed me into a person with an open mind, a person who is okay with how she is, a person who loves who she is, a person who is relatable and amicable.

P, is the kind of person i couldn't ever live without being around. She is a bubble of yellow fun.. Drinking is never out of the question and neither is chilling. Whenever i need to just get some zen (lame, i know) into me, Up comes p's number on my phone and i dial away.

Tuesday, August 4



(except its a jumpsuit- even better!)

Top Shop UK!!

Monday, August 3

I was so much older then... I'm younger than that now

A photographic portrait exhibition that was on in Paddington this May caught my eye, mainly because Cate Blanchett (L) is featured. Take a peak...







When I get paid:

1. Silk Playsuit from TopShop UK $116 (Hot Pink)

2. Over-The-Knee Boots.


Sunday, August 2

money won't buy happiness...but it sure will take care of a Drama degree

boo hoo, im going to cry! I have just reseached the drama colleges i want to go to, and they're all either:
1. Impossible to audition for because they are all in the Northern Hemisphere, or,
2. Going to cost me more money than i will ever make in my whole life.

Okay here are the possiblities:
- Stella Adler Conservatory of Drama, New York.
- Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, London.
- Juilliard, New York.

Friday, July 31

the best kind

the best kind of love is when your mess is no mess at all.
the best kind of love means not caring where you end up, as long it's together.
the best kind of love is when music is different sounding.
the best kind of love is being crushed against a wall.
the best kind of love is when the laughter becomes an addiction.
the best kind of love is glamourous to everyone else, but normal to you.
the best kind of love means fitting together in a fitting way.
the best kind of love is when feet arent gross and work doesn't matter and you have lost connection with everything except each other.

but most of all, the best kind of love is when everything is different. the best kind of love is when you find yourself somehow above the clouds, appreciating a completely different life, and laughing so much lines are permanently etched.