I wish I could rip out a page of my memory
Cuz I put too much energy in him and me
Can’t wait til I get through this phase
Cuz it’s killing me too bad
We can’t re-write our own history
Such a mystery when he’s here with me
It’s hard to believe i’m still lonely
Chances fading now, patience running out
This ain’t how it’s supposed to be
I’m having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy
How do we reverse the chemistry?
I don’t want us to be the end of me
This love is taking all of my energy
Tuesday, November 10
Looking back...
People who have changed me:
Pippa
Tom
Elle
Jack
Shannyn
Jess
Morgan(Sinclair)
Its amazing how people can change who you are. I know it sounds conventional, and normal, and maybe it is, but think about how strong you are as a person. Everything you believe in not only is important, but its real. It exists. And don't you think anything that's real, and solid, and there, should be impossible to change?
Apparently not. Because the above people have all changed me as a person, and I thought i knew who i was when i met them. That's the thing, that i always ask..If you change, have you always been that person, and just hiding, or have these people literally created another chapter of you?
Recently, my friendship with one of my dearest friends has become particularly strong. After a year of loving, lusting, hating, crying, questioning, yelling, silent-treatmenting, and ignoring, we are back to where we were this time last year..
Sometimes i wonder if you ever get over your first love.. I know everyone says you don't, and I know a lot of people haven't, but is that because of that saying "You never get over your first love" or is it real? I suppose it's like everything really, Its different for every person.
I dont really think I'll ever get over mine..But i'm at the point in myself now where i'm okay with that. The connection I have with my first is so electric, so soft, so beautiful and so real that even if it is shit 90% of the time, its still amazing.
So, to J, I will always love you, and I believe a part of you will always love me, and that's okay.
Another person who has changed me is P, she is my original artist. When i first met her, I was into her straight away. Into her quirkiness, her weirdness, her strange behaviour and odd loves (greenday + vogues). I gave her her first puff of a ciggarette, she gave me my first pub gig, we both pretended to like cigarettes but we didnt like them at all. P has changed me into a person with an open mind, a person who is okay with how she is, a person who loves who she is, a person who is relatable and amicable.
P, is the kind of person i couldn't ever live without being around. She is a bubble of yellow fun.. Drinking is never out of the question and neither is chilling. Whenever i need to just get some zen (lame, i know) into me, Up comes p's number on my phone and i dial away.
Pippa
Tom
Elle
Jack
Shannyn
Jess
Morgan(Sinclair)
Its amazing how people can change who you are. I know it sounds conventional, and normal, and maybe it is, but think about how strong you are as a person. Everything you believe in not only is important, but its real. It exists. And don't you think anything that's real, and solid, and there, should be impossible to change?
Apparently not. Because the above people have all changed me as a person, and I thought i knew who i was when i met them. That's the thing, that i always ask..If you change, have you always been that person, and just hiding, or have these people literally created another chapter of you?
Recently, my friendship with one of my dearest friends has become particularly strong. After a year of loving, lusting, hating, crying, questioning, yelling, silent-treatmenting, and ignoring, we are back to where we were this time last year..
Sometimes i wonder if you ever get over your first love.. I know everyone says you don't, and I know a lot of people haven't, but is that because of that saying "You never get over your first love" or is it real? I suppose it's like everything really, Its different for every person.
I dont really think I'll ever get over mine..But i'm at the point in myself now where i'm okay with that. The connection I have with my first is so electric, so soft, so beautiful and so real that even if it is shit 90% of the time, its still amazing.
So, to J, I will always love you, and I believe a part of you will always love me, and that's okay.
Another person who has changed me is P, she is my original artist. When i first met her, I was into her straight away. Into her quirkiness, her weirdness, her strange behaviour and odd loves (greenday + vogues). I gave her her first puff of a ciggarette, she gave me my first pub gig, we both pretended to like cigarettes but we didnt like them at all. P has changed me into a person with an open mind, a person who is okay with how she is, a person who loves who she is, a person who is relatable and amicable.
P, is the kind of person i couldn't ever live without being around. She is a bubble of yellow fun.. Drinking is never out of the question and neither is chilling. Whenever i need to just get some zen (lame, i know) into me, Up comes p's number on my phone and i dial away.
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