okay im ready to talk now.
on friday 20. i left my VAPD on the train. enough said i think.
on saturday 21. still no VAPD, went to p's lovely gathering and got really drunk. i was worrying about me and j the whole time, and if we would ever get back to how we once were.
on sunday 22. i missed 2 trains.my boyfriend broke up with me. i love him with everything i have, and he said that he did too. he said his feelings had changed and that i wasnt to blame. in black and white- im incredibly hurt/depressing to be around, and im sorry about that but you wouldn't understand how shit im feeling write now.STILL NO VAPD
on monday 23. i had to go to school and pretend like nothing was wrong. i felt like dying the whole day. t and e knew something was up but they couldnt do anything,or say anything to make me feel anybetter. i didnt talk to anyone the whole day. poor b, didnt know how to act, i love her.at lunch i had a panic attack in a cubicle, it was too scary for words. after school i had senior drama company and j.b. asked me randomly if i broke up with my boyfriend, i confessed- yes and my good mate th heard and was shocked. poor th, he's so awkward.
called central lost property->NO VAPDS. (3 from my school, none of which being mine)
that night i rang elle and told her everything. that night i cried myself to sleep, like a sad little emo bitch.
on tuesday 24. i had art theory which was epic, and then had dancing. i had to try so hard not to hurt. in modern history h accidently made a joke about me and j, it got me heaps cut. saw j walking as i was in the car on the way home from dancing.(no VAPD). cried a lot today.
on wednesday 25. BIGGEST DAY OF MY LIFE. i
performed romeo and juliet extract in class-> manning liked it.
i had to finish
my art B.O.W at lunch, then eat on my way to my
italian exam, then run to the station to go to
teach dancing in croydon, which the cd player broke within the first 5 mins, i then had to speed to
youth theatre in strathfield followed by a delayed
train home in the rain. then i
ran home at 9.30pm because i left my phone at home. then i
ate cold dinner and then got started on
writing my 2000 word art essay and
finishing my watercolour painting after which, i
wrote my english essay and went to bed at
didnt think about jack much though...
then in the morning,
on thursday 26.
i went to school late and out of uniform, just to
hand in my art assessment task which wasnt accepted coz of some protocol shit, had to appeal for this piece of shit art crap.
went home and slept for 6 hours straight.
no VAPD. (lost marks for art) fucking piece of shit.
today i got really down about jack. heaps sad when i went to sleep. wrote a letter or 7.
on friday 27. did nothing but hurt for the whole day.was really epic.
elle came over and we went to the video shop in no bra, boys clothes with shit hair no makeup at like 9 o clock at night and we were shuffling to jay zee when who walks in?
apparently my face was like this :O the whole time and it was awkward and i had tears running down my face. plus he looked REALLY HOT.
watched im not there- got mega inspired and fell in love with bob dylan (again), got upset about the whole j fiasco because of incident earlier.
no VAPD BY THE WAY.
on saturday 28 e and i woke up and made eggs with loads of salt, then in the night i went over to e's and we dyed our hair (mines purple, e's is dark brown). then we watched dead poets society.
no vapd, if you were wondering (i am)
sunday 29 woke up at e's and took 3 hours to get home (DONT GET ME STARTED ON TRACK WORK, then i watched Capote, took my mind off things. i messaged j to apologise for being a dickhead. no reply as usual- no credit or no care: same thing. painted a shit load today.
monday 30 today started really shitly like all mondays do:
beginning of 5 days solid work,
BIOLOGY FOR 80 MINUTES PERIOD ONE.
i also had drama today, and it was really shit. we're doing romeo and juliet and manning thinks im so shit. fucking hell its so hard to be good here, im constantly stuttering with all my words and fucking everything up. told everyone about me and jack breaking up today- feeling better.
had senior drama company today, and me and t had to do our on-stage make out a record of 6 times! woooooooo.. not. the whole time all i thought about was how i wished he was j.
got my italian test back 15/25. dont care i didnt study- too stressed. no vapd grrrrrrrr.
tuesday 31 today was a really good day. the first good one in a while.
i had a Postmodern Essay in eng ext, which i didnt plan for, but wrote 5 pages with nopoint whatsoever, dont really care it wasnt an assessment- i have bigger things to worry about.
had dancing and we did solos and the teacher started crying when i did mine, she thought it was so good that i should teach it to the class! it was so great, i felt wanted for the first time in ages.
and then, just before i went to bed, i got an email for a casting for a program 'Whatever- Teenage Drinkers' on ABC's Cataylst for sunday, where i play an intoxicated teenager. my mates j and h are also going to be there playing in their band!!!
wednesday 1. FOUND MY VAPD! april fools. still no where in sight. had a good day today, hair looked good, as did the makeup and the uniform. handed in my biology book voluntarily and mr s was very pleased. had youth theatre and we just watched the film version of our play- we're getting cast next week, so excited! got an early mark off today in youth theatre, so i got home at 9.30! so good!!!
so that brings us to now.
holy shit so much written im so sorry for the bbacklogue
love you all please comment